Thirty First
Last day of the month and we made it through just fine.
Posts
A Good Day
Broke bread and pizza with my Loved Ones. Eating, recounting stories, talked philosophy and Star Trek vs Star Wars .. this day, she was GOOD. Wheeze-laughing at todays Far Side 😂
Clocked
Currently in the middle of watching an online funeral service for somebody who died almost three years ago. I never met this person in the flesh but have known them for many, many years .. we share a lot of similarities. The service is beautiful. I’m so grateful I’m still here.
Checkered
“Just checking in ..” with myself. Haven’t spoken to anyone all day, not even through text. That’s ok. I’m ok. Real.
Inordinately Ordinarily Extraordinary
Saturday night, chillin’ like a villain. All is well, again. Might sound boring but’s it’s extraordinarily miraculous 💫
Growth
Ever watered a seed until it sprouted, then the teeniest leaves started to form on a stem so fragile? Incredible stuff. One of my grandmothers favourite quotes was “If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, anything is possible.”
A Monday.
Sauntered into town for a chicken kebab, tobacco, and my nighttime medication. Sauntered back home. Planted my newly-tap-rooted seedling. It’s the little things.
Light.
Flame on my new blue candle is insanely big .. I love it. I love lighting candles again, eons ago I’d do it religiously to consciously remind myself of Spirit In The Room. I love how I’m remembering myself.
It’s Tricky
I call days like today “tricky” and I could describe why but I don’t want to re-live it. Nobody I know has died so it could be worse *shrug emoji* I fed the cat, blew out the fancy candles brushed my teeth thanked God for the Grace and am now ensconced in bed. We’ll Triantiwontigongolope again tomorrow, shall we?
Stagefright?
Nobody is reading this yet I’m still reserved about really letting loose in here … ponderous 🤔 Not really understanding todays Far Side but you can’t win them all, hey Gary.
Germinating a Seed
Crazy how on the outside my life looks much the same as it’s been for the past few years, but it’s not. To an extent everything is the same but it’s different .. shinier. Brighter. Better. I feel unearthed. I’d forgotten who I was, and in the remembering realise I’ve never been *this* version of me before. Life is so much better not drinking oneself to death and I like it. “I like it a lot.” - Lloyd Christmas
Incy Wincy ..
.. it appears there’s a large huntsman spider on the wall in my dining room so I’m going to have to burn my house down.
Stay Alive or Die Trying
“Stay alive or die trying” was the five-word text I sent to myself this morning because I thought it was funny. Made it up myself, a pun on Fifty’s “Get Rich or Die Trying” album. Felt excited when I heard the text notification then realised it was from myself … foiled again! I text me a lot … shit I find on the net that’s cool or some writing that I wanna use for later. Not sure how just yet but I will. In the words of the King to the Pissboy: “Keep searching keep searching you’ll find it.”
HOT
Today was so hot I copied my cat and lay down low. Almost midnight, finally dropped down to a soothing 27 degrees Celsius 🔥 🔥
Neun
A double whammy, Acht and Neun together. Wow this is all fully fascinating AMIRITE A lol did escape me when she told the cat not to fuck around with the “fish.”
Shave and a Haircut
The beginning of Kendrick Lamar’s music video for Not Like Us shows us someone (presumably KDot himself) knocking on the door of a room at the end of a dark hallway. He uses the very well known old-school knock tune of “Shave and a Haircut, Two Bits.” It’s a brilliant music video, from a brilliant artist. I had tickets to see him perform a few weeks ago in Sydney and was SO looking forward to it but decided not to go .. didn’t trust myself. Out of all the peoples trust I’ve broken these past hideous years, it’s my own that I’m focusing most on re-building. I have faith I’ll get there .. and I have faith I’ll see Kendrick in concert one day in the future. I believe I have a future. Fancy that!
Sunday
All quiet round these parts .. this is one of the calmest starts to a new year I’ve seen in a very, very long time.
Third
Too self-conscious to say what I’m really feeling. And thinking. And doing. Annoying my own fkn self 🤷♀️
Nothing Matters Very Much ..
… and few things matter at all. The second day of the year brought forth a burger with cheese, continued clarity, and a thunderstorm. Nothing much to report, isn’t that wonderful? Laying in bed playing my word finder game while on a Deep Space Nine rewatch. Peace out, Homingtons. Todays Far Side is a doozy 😂
Once Upon a Time ..
… a woman woke up halfway through her life and thought “I gotta do something, about where we’re going.” So she did. If all roads lead to Rome, then Rome leads to all roads. Haven’t even thought of a title yet but that’s cool, there’s something to be said for starting before you’re ready especially when there’s a lot to be said. (ESPECIALLY when you’re back from the dead) Ugh I’m rusty at writing sorry .. hey Computer lets channel Picard: “Computer, set a course for home.” “Rome?” “No .. Home.” Fifty-fucken-three years old and I still have no idea what I’m doing. But I’m still here and so are you and if you don’t think that’s magical then let’s make it so.